Saturday, May 24, 2008
What a terrible week of having hangovers almost everyday. Insomnia is such a curse. I kind of developed a resistance to the sleeping pills I steal from my parents. It could be a good thing though, because Lorazepam is highly addictive, and not really sleeping pills but instead more used for anti-anxiety purposes. I can't afford sleeping pills on my own, much less bring my mom along to see the doctor and pay, because she really disapproves of handling my insomnia with pills.And so the cycle of relying on alcohol starts again. I really dislike the hangover you get the next day, but I really don't know what else I could do. They say warm milk helps, but unfortunately I am allergic to milk. It's not as if I've tried not drinking to sleep, but when you're tossing in the bed for hours, and feeling totally alert at 6 in the morning, even after trying the old method of reading something incredibly dry and wordy to fall asleep (Harvard Business Review), you start to get really desperate.
I really do hope I can get over this one day, and start falling asleep within five minutes of trying. It's not like I'm stressed or heartbroken or thinking about anything at all; I just can't fall asleep. It's such a vicious cycle, this affliction of mine. I've just had the most painful headache ever while watching Indiana Jones just now, probably the effects of too much booze or something. I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. ):
I'm the unwilling poster boy of AA.
Alcoholism and insomnia apart, I felt really sad and guilty today. At work (Kind of a temporary job in catering), we had to dump so much food. It was really such a waste, to see trays of cooked food being dumped just like that, when everywhere people are talking about food prices rising, and majority of the world being hungry, much less the disasters that recently hit Myanmmar and China. We're so rich and extravagant that we don't know it sometimes. :(
Continuing on the topic of sad things, for a good cry/wake-up call/read, go see this blog. It's a really sad read, and it's really sad that for most people (me included), it's only when life is being taken away from you that you really start to appreciate it, and live it to the fullest.
We're the lucky ones, so let's go live our life to the fullest! And without @#$%!@$ insomnia.
