Monday, December 31, 2007
I guess it's time for that obligatory end of the year long blog post from me, before maybe I go out and meet my friends.Admittedly, this year has been mostly miserable for me. But somehow, this year seemed to just breeze through me.
But still, I have to thank my brothers from other mothers for being here. You know who you are, and you don't know who you are not. I think without you guys I'd be much, much more miserable.
Anyway, this year was a big year in terms of change for me. I have to admit that I probably became a worse person, in the things I started and stopped doing.
Anyway, there are still a few things I'm happy I did this year:
Buying flowers for the people I really care for, my mother and someone else.
Finally travelling as a family after so long.
Working for someone else other than my father.
Studying really hard for once and reaping the efforts.
Working really hard for my final year project, and getting into Spinnovex.
Experiencing the clubbing culture.
Okay, can't think of anything else, or maybe I didn't do much this year. =\
There are certain resolutions I would love to make in the new year.
1. Not party like there's no tomorrow
Although I am glad I did experience the clubbing culture, I'm not proud of myself smoking and drinking as though there's nothing to live for anymore. Maybe it's true, sometimes it seems that there's nothing to live for, and getting high helps numb some of the pain, but still, at the end of the night I'm really just letting myself down.
I'd probably still party next year, because it's still a great time to have with my friends, but I'm stopping my cigarettes, and not drinking so much.
I thought I'd just smoke socially, but slowly I was smoking everywhere, and spending way too much on them. I think the breaking point was when I still smoked a lot when I was really sick and groggy at home, and even burnt my fringe while lighting up.
So right now I realise that I have a problem, and I'm stopping it.
2. Fall in love?
I have to admit that I have feelings for someone now.
I don't know how that will work out, of course I hope I would eventually really fall in love with her, but really no one knows the future.
But in case if things do not work out, maybe this is the year I'd finally learn the meaning of the words "move on" and learn to love all over again.
Yea, I know everytime I say that I'd move on, but I always fail. Probably everyone who knows me somehow knows of my life stories, and I have no idea why. Am I just one big drama serial for you guys. ):
AND THIS THING ON FACEBOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE HAPPY OR SAD.
I have quite a lot of friends on Facebook, and somehow everyone votes me to be the most loyal!?
IT IS BECAUSE I FAILED TO HIT IT THAT NIGHT AFTER MoS RIGHT!? SO YOU GUYS THINK IT'S BECAUSE OF HER THAT'S WHY I DID NOT!?
You guys are probably right, but then again I was not like this a few years ago, as some of my older friends can attest to it. I guess it's karma how I was so unloyal back then that somehow I become the one known to be the most loyal, chi qing, blah blah.
BUT LOYAL SOUNDS LIKE A DOG AND I AM NOT A DOG!
But yeah, I hope to experience love next year.
3. Have a happier year
They call my iPod the saddest thing in the world. In it, are classical music so unfortunate and arias so tragic.
They say it would be weird if I were ever to be happy, because I always seem so sad.
There are times I am happy lah, just that it's not very often.
It's just human nature. No matter how good our lives are, we often find something wrong with it and be miserable.
So I hope next year I learn to be content with most things I have, and start being happy. Like 50% of the time. Like happy for 183 days.
That is already a big improvement, because if you ask me to count the times I have been truly happy this year, I think my fingers would suffice. ):
Time to be happy like Mr. Candles.
4. GROW TALLER
JUST GROW DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope I have severely delayed puberty. ):
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So yeah, that's all. I hope everyone has a great and happy year ahead of them! :)
Sunday, December 30, 2007
I am coughing so bad that I have been staying in bed the past two days.
Not really a change from facing the computer the whole day, because I keep facing the PSP.
Not really the best way to end a year, but hopefully I'll get well soon. Like tomorrow. Happy Birthday Daddy.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I'm coughing non-stop.Please stop?
Shalahlahlahlah.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Hello friends. You're not a true gamer till you beat this game:http://my.alcoholidays.googlepages.com/cutebunny.zip
How can you not win a game with a cute bunny as it's main character?
Time to feel like an utter failure.
Arrow keys to move.
Watching I Am Legend earlier in the day, the only thing I felt was this utter sadness when I saw Sam, the German Shephard in the movie, die.
I really miss my labrador retriever, Lucky.
Sometimes I wish that I had not take him for granted that much. Sometimes I wish that I had walked with him more, hugged him more, gave him a much better life, and loved him more.
I thought that he would always be there. Whenever I was down, I could just go to him and know that at least my Lucky loves me.
Wherever you are now, I'm so sorry that I did not give you a better life that you deserved. I'm such a lousy owner that I don't know your birthday, I can't remember when you went to the big kennel in the sky, I didn't have the chance to see you for the last time and I don't even know what you liked to eat. But I hope you know that I love and miss you, and if there's an afterlife, we'll just sit there again, me and you, not saying a word, and know that everything is going to be alright.
Laugh at me guys, but if you had a pet you'd probably understand.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Thanks to everyone who came last night! (:Thankfully my final year project is back on track, and I somehow have to figure out a way to wake up in the morning for a rehearsal tomorrow to demonstrate my project.
Man, if only one day everything changes and events start like in the late afternoon. Maybe, just maybe, when our generation is in charge.
Look at this(http://xkcd.com/361/) and you'll understand.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Merry Christmas everybody! (:Hope tomorrow turns out fine.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Of all the fucking days to oversleep!I had to go to school to demonstrate my final year project this morning.
Of all nights to get insomnia and finally fall asleep at 8. In the morning.
Of all alarm tones to set, Canon in D.
And because inconsiderate people like to call me in the morning, I usually off my phone when I sleep.
Sometimes I am fucking stupid.
I hope all those days of work and crap just to get into this fucking stupid exhibition for a fucking extra 20 marks doesn't go to waste because of this.
I don't know anymore.
Merry Fucking Christmas.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
I'm halfway through watching A.I. and I hope it doesn't make me cry at the end.Anyway, if I didn't make it clear enough, the BBQ/Party at my place is on Christmas Day itself, Tuesday next week, around evening/night till late.
RSVP comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond". So please respond even if you can't attend! (:
And it feels great not being broke anymore. Love you mommy!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Finally a rap song I can relate to.I need to stop clubbing for the time being.
Alcohol, babies*, taxi fares, suppers and the festive period doesn't add up to a healthy bank balance. ):
*Inside reference.
Now is the time for me to ponder, if I had collected money for everytime I serviced someone's computers, modified someone's PSP, basically do any job that required some form of skill, would I be so short of money today? ):
But I'm just too nice to collect money from friends and relatives lah.
I really want to get a high these few days, but all that I have left is a bit of Bailey's, which is pathetically weak, and my friend's Remy Martin, which I can't bear to open because it looks so expensive and it's not mine.
This is the time where an extra twenty bucks would be good to get some cheap piss-like whiskey and drink it on the rocks.. ):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a candidate for an early death, but I really don't give two fscks about myself sometimes.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
http://jasonopolis.myminicity.com/Click everyday please.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Christmas is in a week! I think my family will be going to Taiwan without me on Christmas because I have stupid FYP. ):I guess that means.. Party at my place?
This video means that I HOPE EVERYONE (YOU KNOW WHO ARE YOU, GUYS) GETS A DATE FOR CHRISTMAS SO NO ONE IS COMING TO PUKE ALL OVER MY SOFAS!!
Just kidding lah.
Friday, December 14, 2007
700th post!And 2 less months in National Service! Yay! :D
Taking babies* without being worried about losing stamina!
*Inside reference
But it was really satisfying that this failure from his Zhonghua days who always finished at the back for the 2.4km runs finish first today.
2 more days to...
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Manchester United & Liverpool's match!
What were you thinking? ):
Monday, December 10, 2007
My dad caught my "abuse" of sleeping pills yesterday. Suddenly he came into my room at night holding the empty packet of pills and asked me if I was troubled or anything.I said that I took them when I needed to wake up early the next morning.
Honestly, I don't know why I took so many of them. Did I like to hallucinate? Was I just too bored with my stagnant life?
I just don't know. But I don't like enjoying life in Singapore because everything good is taxed so heavily. ):
And the weather is just terrible these few days. I remember a board during the marathon encouraging us with "There is no bad weather, just weak minds." in case it ever rained or something.
Still, it is fscking annoying to run in the rain! Probably everyone I run past thinks I'm crazy for running. Show us some sunlight already, damn it!
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Normally I don't like to ostracise and be mean to people, because I know no one's perfect.But still, there's a limit to how low an emotional quotient I can stand.
Milkshake at MoS could have been better, but we all know why. (:
This lifestyle of vice is probably going to catch up with me one day, but really, this is the life! (But not yesterday because we all know why.)
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Winston Churchill is like some God in jacking people. Look at some of these quotes:"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
What's best is his responses to other people trying to jack him:
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one."
Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw: "Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party: "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor: "Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!"
Is this guy good or what?
This one is good too:
The Earl of Sandwich: "You, Mr. Wilkes, will die either of the pox or on the gallows."
John Wilkes's response to The Earl of Sandwich: "That depends, my lord, whether I embrace your mistress or your principles."
Now I think I know some of his descendants..
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Christmas time is upon us again. The time of the year where the perpetually single ones like me feel even more lonesome.Bah. I am used to it already I guess.
One thing's for sure, I don't and I am not going to spend the midnight going into Christmas alone on the bus like last year.
Yeah, I epic failed last year.
At least I am getting into the spirit of things by getting red and green ligatures for my braces.
So Santa, all I want for Christmas is to stop feeling like such a utter failure at life. I don't care if my life remains the same, I just don't want that low self-esteem and self-hating part. ): I don't want to wake up every morning feeling ugly, feeling short, feeling fat, feeling stupid, feeling so tired of everything anymore. So won't you take it away from me?
Monday, December 03, 2007
GAWD I SUCK!
So yeah, around five and a half hours. ):
You can walk 7.5 kph on a treadmill, believe me. ):
Curse my roving eyes! I'll be better next time!
You can check out my (or your) results here: http://www.runpix.info/sin07/42/finord.php?LastName=8488&lan=&aset=0
Thinking back, even though I was kinda disappointed with my timing, I'm still glad that I managed to complete the marathon. The last ten plus kilometres I walked really never seemed to end, but well, I did it in the end!
I'm not such a failure after all!
Everyone was so happy to finish it, and randomly shaking each other's hands to congratulate one another. It was really nice.
Many runners put a "reason to run" tag behind them, and some were really inspiring. One father put how the marathon was nothing compared to his wife carrying their child. Aww..
Till 7th December next year then!
Thanks to everyone who encouraged me before, during and even after the run! (:
Sunday, December 02, 2007
What can I say except that I didn't die.I thought it was still alright, and I could ran all the way. I thought I got get a timing below four hours. Was I so wrong.
I probably completed half of the marathon in an hour's plus time, and a few kilometres into the second half, this girl whom I found cute and was running with the past several kilometres suddenly decided to switch sides, got too close and tripped me.
Believe me, I never recovered from that. I walked for most of the rest of the run, only really running at the last few kilometres because my legs hurt that much.
I finished the whole damn thing in around 5 and a half hours. The walking was so fscking excruciating and so very slow. I'm so slow. ): Even though there were tons of people after me, I still feel so pathetic because several senior citizens walked past me in the run.
I learnt a lot from my first marathon. If there is ever a next time I am not thinking straight and sign up for another marathon, I'm not going to slow down training a few months before the marathon. ): And I'm so gonna eat more. ): The banana stops were like 30 kilometres apart and I was so hungry during the race. ):
Some pictures in chronological order!
Preparing to leave.
Many, many people ready to die.
All I can say is that, I ran a marathon and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
..And medal.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Tomorrow's the killer run!Time to tell myself that 42.195 is just a number.
Time to knock myself out with alcohol and sleeping pills, so that I can get 8 hours of sleep before waking up at 3.30. ):
